And island of one

Without getting all melodramatic and overstating shit for effect, yeah, I guess on a daily basis there are some comforting interactions with other people. But at the same time there are interactions with people which you think should go off without a hitch, which you think should be positive and pretty straight forward and those are the ones that get all fucked up. People take things the wrong way, people misunderstand or simply fail to communicate....

Consider this for a moment, what if the people in your life right now were the only people to be in your life from now on? What if you never met another new person - not a stranger or a co worker - when I say a "new person" someone whom you allow in to your inner circle someone you trust and share things with - someone who wants to get to know you and allows you to do the same. Then consider for a moment, are the people who are in your life, permanent. Probably not.. few people are ever, really permanent. I don't know where I'm going with this or what my point actually is... I guess ultimately it comes down to wondering how people see me. My impression of me from a third person perspective. I don't know, most of the time I don't care about being alone, but for whatever reason I am going through some kind of thing where i would, really, like to have that mutual energy exchange that two people who are getting to know one another have. I don't generally make good first impressions, I either come off as shy or aloof or weird and abstract. I am not even sure my actual friends of whom I have only a handful, know how to take me. If .... I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter. None of it matters, really. One hundred years from now...