One...Two...Three...faggotree

It's funny - not funny haha... well a little maybe - for someone who is really not a big fan of change, just how much of it has been forced on me in the last 7 months. I'm starting to think the fates have a twisted sense of humor. I used to know someone else who thought so. Actually she had a little more serious opinion of The Fates. But hey, that's in the past. In the last 7 months, I have left a job of 9 years to start a new job, in a new place with new faces. I used to drive 20 min to work, now I drive 50ish. I used to work out at "lunch" now, I am going after work. There were plenty of other insignificant changes, such as I had my cable/television cut off b/c of all the useless crap on television/cable. I used to hate sharing stuff about myself and that is still true to some extent, but I met someone back around xmas who coerced me to open up and trust and not worry about the consequences... So, I did, and as she was ripping my heart from my chest, she smirked at me as if to say "And what did you learn?" Then she handed it to me and walked away. So, there were other changes that were thrust upon me/that I caused, which i dare not speak of, lest some plague be visited upon me and my house. But it's funny how change, welcomed or not, forces you to look at your life and quickly assess what you care about, what you don't care about, what you need, what you can live without... you'd be surprised how much actually falls in to the latter category. Fact of the matter is, because we humans are creatures of habit, we routinely fall in to doing the same things, day in and day out, expecting the same results and generally living life in a rut... that is, until something happens to jar us out of that rut - Enter: Change. Now, I'm not a retard. I knew all along change could do this and would have this effect. But it's the difference in  watching a top fuel funny car take off and go down the track and know "that was fast" and actually driving one and experiencing 5000+ hp and a 0-300mph in 3-4 seconds - two totally different things.

So I have an opportunity to reinvent myself. Because now things are different. No point in going on like they aren't. And that's what Scorpios do - one of the symbols for our Zodiac is the Phoenix - MASTER of living, dying and being reborn anew, reinventing itself. (because "living, dying, and being reborn..." sounds too much like the great Zombie Master, Jesus) problem is, I don't know what to become... or what I should change... I just asked for help from a possible ghost from the soon to be past, but I doubt it helps. Ghosts are funny that way. Sometimes they oblige the living, sometimes they suffer the living, most times they just sort of do what they want... so we'll see...