Dandelion

Do you ever just stop? Stop, and actually take note of the moment in which you are living? It seems like most of the time we as people are too busy with the hustle and bustle of living life, or existing or trying to survive, whatever it is that occupies one's day to day moments, to actually notice the moment we're in. Or maye it's just me. Seems like when I take time to stop - that's when I am inspired to write. And what's it all mean? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Not a single thing will be changed by me taking time to write this entry, tomorrow will unfurl just as it would had I not bothered. So then what... it's this just some sort of exercize of my creative muscles? Use it or lose it sort of thing? Maybe it's a tool to enhance my analytical abilities... which shouldn't need any enhancing. I analyze everything. All the time. Sometimes to no avail, but sometimes it really helps. Seems like when I focus on something and analyze it, that's when I write. Most anyway... I'm glad I have this opportunity, it helps me maintain my sanity. What this does is allow me to say whatever's on my mind, that way if or when I ever actually meet someone, I can proceed like a normal person, even though I am all kinds of screwed up. I can say things on this blog that I would never be able to say to another human. Of course I am working from the perspective that 1) IF anyone ever finds this 2)no one will bother to read through all the drivel and nonsensical stream of consciousness flow to get to any parts that actually mean something to me. The parts that reveal the true me. At least that's what I'm betting on. But you know, what would be so bad about someone "discovering" the real me? It's not as if someone will say "oh, I know you from your blog, I have been wanting to meet someone like you" - (HAH) worst case scenario, someone learns bits and pieces of me that I don't tell just anyone. Oooooo. So? Even though this is a blog, there are things I wouldn't even say here. There are some things that will never be said, not to anyone or in any kind of writing. Some demons are mine and mine alone and it is my duty to keep it that way. And some just wouldn't be interesting to anyone but me anyway. So it'd be pointless. Pretty much like this post. It has about as much direction as a leaf in the wind...